Take a chance

As I take a moment to reflect upon my life and the wonderful people that have been brought into it, I can't help but feel as though the friendships I've made have hardly been by chance. Each person who has walked along side me in my pathway of life has made a ripple- much like a stone being cast into a lake. Occassionally I've allowed myself to get lost in the water, focusing more on where the stone lands and who cast it verses the greater effect the stone will have on the lake over time. I've realized with time, that who I am today is every bit as much to do with who I was yesterday and who I ultimately strive to be.

Priorities change. People change. Friendships fade away... and often times the only thing your left with is a big, heavy stone in the bottom of the lake and two choices. The choice to be greater than who you were, or the choice to allow your mistakes, your fears, and promises that have been broken you to weigh down on your life and who you ultimately want to become.

I consider a quote I recently read that said something along the lines of 'Be today who you want to be tomorrow.' As a young mother, I consider those words and want to heed their warning as much as I want to follow their dream. 'Be TODAY who you want to be TOMORROW.'

Who do I want to be? How do I become that person that I don't yet know? It's all in a day's work... One day- one step- one moment- one choice at a time.

I often find it easier to store away lifes past events- refusing to embark on the memory of their happenings, with the hope that one day that greate big rock in the lake will allow them to sink. Instead, I'm often haunted by their reality in lifes most trying times. Like most, I'm not as strong as my best face. You know... the one you put on to pretend as though you couldn't possibly relate to the problems facing so many today.

I don't want to show that face. Instead, I want to scream to the whole world that despite all my trials... and challenges... and despite the fact that deep down... like... really, really deep down, I'm not okay...
But, I know I will be. Because I know tomorrow brings hope- and sunshine- and peace. And if I live today like I want tomorrow to be- despite the rain clouds looming over, I have friends who love me for ME.

I'm grateful for that.... because I know it's not by chance.